So the person you love is a recovered addict or alcoholic. This may be a difficult thing for you, but then it may not be any more difficult than it would be with anyone else. There are many things to think about when your partner is a recovered addict or alcoholic. Make sure you keep the following things in mind.
1. Your partner has gone through a lot to overcome his or her addiction.
It may not seem like much to you to not drink beer or wine ever, but if your partner suffers from alcoholism and they have managed to be sober for any amount of time, this is a big accomplishment for them. This can be unbelievably difficult so you want to make sure you appreciate the efforts they are making and the difficulties they are overcoming.
2. You are not responsible for what your partner consumes.
If your partner ends up relapsing, it is not your fault. Even if you get in a fight and it causes her or him to go out to the bar and drink, you cannot feel guilty about this. You need to remember that your partner has a disease, and he or she is doing everything she can to overcome this disease. Relapse, however, is part of recovery. Just because they relapse once does not mean they won’t be able to get sober in the long run.
3. You cannot make your partner go to meetings or go to rehab or get help. You can, however, encourage them to do so.
If your partner is relapsing or having a difficult time with his or her addiction, you may feel the need to encourage him or her to go to a rehabilitation facility or to 12-step meetings like those of Alcoholics Anonymous. If he or she refuses to do this, you may feel hopeless. That would be a mistake. You cannot make anyone do anything.
4. Your partner needs your support.
If your partner is trying to get or stay sober, they need your support. This may mean going to visit them in rehab or going with them to meetings. It may mean never drinking around them. It may mean reading The Big Book with them. The best thing you can do is really be there for your partner and let him or her know that you really appreciate the fact that they are trying to seek treatment for their addiction.